Sunday, May 11, 2008

Women that influenced my life as a Mom!

May 11, 2008
Today I want to honor those women that have influenced me to be a better person and along with that to be a better Mom! The most influential being my own mother, of course, but there have been many others! These few women whom I have selected are not the ONLY ones, they are just a few, but very important, ones!
ENJOY! And to all you mothers and mothers to be...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

This is my Great Grandma Jesse on my Mom's side...I have read many of her journal entries and I feel that a little of my spunk in my personality came from her!

This is my Grandma Robinson on my Mom's side-I know I definitely learned persistance from her!

This is my Grandma Matesen and I...Don't mind my eyes, creepy, but I hope I got a little of her classiness and service attitude!!!

My Mother-in-law has influenced me so much...she has taught me compassion and also strength in standing alone!

My sisters, my best friends along with my Mom, have also been a big influence! My older sister has shown me that being a Mom means allowing your kids to peak at what they are good at on their own time and not on PARENT TIME! My younger sister taught me how to deal with clingy personalities since that is all she did with me growing up! I would turn around and there she would be...hahaha...but she has also taught me strength in the gospel...important beyond measure!

I just thought I'd put up a picture of my Mom when she was younger! So beautiful!

I entered my story on Gregory E. Lang's website...he's an author and is publishing a new book that he is calling, "Mom's Little Angel"...Here's the Story I entered! Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!

"If I didn't have you has a mother, I would choose you for a friend"

This is the quote that definitely describes my relationship with my Mom. I was lucky to have a mom that cared. She always wanted what was best for her children. She loved her children.

I have learned many things from her throughout my life, but if I have to narrow it down to one thing above all others, I would have to say that my Mom was consistent! She was consistent with her love and with her consequences for punishment. You see, the endearing quality was bitter sweet.

I remember many times in my childhood of my mom playing board games with my brother and I, while the older kids were in school, or kneeling down with us to play Barbie’s. There were many kisses and hugs, and lots of, “I love you”, whispered in my ear right before I would get bombarded by tickles!

In middle school and high school my mom was my confidant. She was always there when I got home from school. There were times where she was forced to work out of the home because of our financial situation, but she never once denied a call from me or told me that she was too busy. My mom was always there, consistent, a refuge from the big and scary world. I relied a lot on her opinions. In those precious teenage years when your relationships were held by a very thin thread, my mom was always there to be my supporter, especially when I had been offended, telling me her favorite quote, “Well, with friends like that, you don’t need enemies!” or “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, always appalled that someone might say one mean thing about her daughter! I guess you could say she was also consistent in her pride for her children! J

Through the unconditional love there was a dark side, or so I thought while growing up. You could rely on the fact that if you came home late or did something bad, there was going to be a consequence, you didn’t have to guess, and it didn’t depend on her mood. If you did something wrong, you were going to be punished. The boundaries were set early in our lives, probably before we could walk, but there was no denying they were there.

Being curious and always wondering exactly where those lines were, I tested and tried my mother’s patience. If I did cross that line, that thin line, I was punished. If I stayed within the boundaries set, then my mom was that gracious and loving, strong and firm, and never relenting friend. If I did cross that line, she was Mother Dearest!

One example being in 5th grade my mom allowed me to go to a friends house where she didn’t know the mom all that well. Being uncomfortable with it, she knew my friend, and decided that I could go to the girls house, but gave me a time to be home, 6:00 pm.

Before I walked out the door to hop on my purple ten speed bike, my mom shouted to me, “Rachelle, remember to be home by six o’clock or you know what will happen, don’t test me! And you forgot to do something and you can’t leave without doing it!

Knowing instantly that I hadn’t kissed her goodbye, I rushed up the stairs and was enveloped in her arms, giving her a quick kiss and a promise to be home by 6:00pm.

I remember having a very good time at my friends house and completely lost track of time! When I saw the clock in my friends room and realized I only had 5 minutes to get home, 4 minutes if I were to get there before six, I distinctly remember my stomach dropping. I knew that I was going to be punished because I knew it was an impossibility to get home before six! I rode like there was no tomorrow, my little legs pumping so fast my bike could hardly keep up with them. I walked in the door at 6:01pm. My mom was there…waiting.

You know what time it is Rachelle?” she said.
Yes, Mom”, I replied.
You know what needs to happen now?” she stated, it wasn’t really a question.
Yes, Mom”.
Rachelle I know you won’t believe this now, but when you have kids you will understand…this hurts me as much as you, I don’t enjoy this, you promised, and I trusted you.” I was spanked, because back then it didn’t send you straight to jail to do it. I knew that was going to be the consequence. I don’t remember how bad it hurt, but I do remember how sad I was that I had lost my Mom’s trust. I actually had to work on it to get it back.

In those precious middle school years there were many times I thought her unfair, cursing under my breath about how she didn’t understand me! There were many experiences where I was caught doing something I shouldn’t have been. My mom has always told me that she just gets a “feeling” that I was doing something I shouldn’t, she would miss me and wonder what I was up to, then she would search for me and inevitably find me somewhere I shouldn’t be.

I learned very quickly, probably not quickly enough for her, to be on time and to tell my mom where I was going and what I was doing and make sure to do EXACTLY that! Oh how cell phones would have made my life so much easier, I could have just called her, wherever I was, to let her know any change of plans!!!

I do understand now that I am a mother. I also get those feelings of missing my kids and then finding them doing or being somewhere they shouldn’t. I know exactly how she felt having to give the punishment to the bad behavior, and I absolutely hate, loathe, and despise doing it. I feel that I turned out well, and that all five of my other brothers and sisters did the same. We are independent, yet respectful, and well-rounded people in society. I like to think we do our parts in our community and church, and we have a love of family and tradition. I know the biggest part of my character builder was my Mom’s consistent parenting nature! That is the one quality that I try to convey in my parenting and the one quality that NOW I am thankful for!

In this stage in my life, my Mom still gives me advice, instead of punishing me, although at times I think she would like to smack me over the head with decisions my husband and I make knowing, through experience, it will be a mistake. We work in the same building and just the other day I got a note on my desk which reads, "Hey Shelle, just wanted to let you know that I LOVE YOU so much!“ We hang, we laugh, she is my mother, but overall, she is my Best Friend!


Jenni said...

I wish I knew the women in my family tree so well. My mother's mother died when she was young, and her family had come here from Poland, so most ties were lost.

What a lovely tribute!

My Time to Blossom said...

Enjoyed the older family pictures. A lovely Mother's Day idea. My daughter's are my best friends too. We are very blessed:)

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